Spencer

I've been thinking a lot lately about what it means to be a good spouse. I definitely have a long way to go in my quest towards spousal perfection, but I'm so grateful for the example I have in Spencer.

I remember going into marriage thinking that no one could have possibly ever loved their spouse as much as I did mine. Silly, really, since six months doth not an epic love story make. But ...I felt it. :) After almost three and a half years of marriage (still not much, I know), I think that my attitude and understanding of love have matured and changed with time. Mostly because I see how Spencer loves me. I see what it means to love and give love through him.

On Grace's first night home from the hospital, Spencer and I were patiently and hopefully putting her down into her bassinet. For some reason, we started to talk about what she might dream about. Sugar plums seemed an obvious option, but we continued to discuss possible scenarios.

If Disney is to be believed, "a dream is a wish your heart makes." So, it only seemed logical that Grace's wishes could be summed up in one word: plentiful milk. I offered as suggestions to Grace some of the things I might happily wish for in dreamland: a full night's sleep, a never ending supply of candy (someday my palate will mature beyond the age of four, but it hasn't happened yet), and other various inconsequential things.

I then turned the time over to Spencer and he simply and quietly said that he dreamed about me. I was the wish and dream of his heart. What he said struck me so much. Partly because I wasn't expecting it, and partly because I knew it was true. Spencer is devoted and loyal to me in a way that I barely understand sometimes. His love is so pure, so innocent, and so true. It's a part of him all the time and is never out of place.

Moving across the country rocked my world in a way that I couldn't have anticipated. It was hard in all the ways that I thought it would have been easy. Spencer has loved me through all the ugliness and frustration rediscovering myself has brought. To anger, misunderstanding, rudeness, and spite, he truly responds with an increase of love. I'm so grateful for him. I'm so grateful to be partnered with a man who can patiently wade through those parts of me and still believe that there is beauty and hope to be found. I love him. I endeavor to be the kind of spouse to him that he has been to me.