The Ultimate Tool of Toddler Manipulation

Potty training is in full swing at the Bardsley house. For the most part, I think it has gone really well. Grace is really motivated and loves going to the bathroom in her "Grace potty." I feel like a pretty lucky momma in almost all respects. Except...as evidenced in almost all other aspects of her life, Grace has a great talent for working the system. You'd think there wouldn't be a system to "work" with potty training.

There is.

Grace uses her bowel movements as a way of joyously yanking her mother around on a chain. She KNOWS that if she tells me she has to go potty, I won't refuse her. So, if I'm not paying enough attention to her I hear, "I have to poop! Poop in the potty!" Or, should she not feel like going to bed when I put her down, she shouts to high heaven that she needs to pee. Again, and again, and again.

And, like a sucker, I bend to her every whim--because I don't want to kill her enthusiasm or make her think that it's okay if she just goes in her diaper sometimes. So, FREQUENTLY we rush to the potty and she gleefully sits on the toilet, smiles up at me, and does...NOTHING.

Now, once again, I'm happy that she likes going. I realize it could be much worse. But I hate that she has found the golden request. The exception to every rule. The ultimate tool of toddler manipulation.

Would it really be that big of a deal if she stayed in diapers the rest of her life? I mean, really.

My First Modeling Gig

That's right. I've been discovered. And Grace, too.

Today: a one page spread in the Ann Arbor, MI, travel guide.

Tomorrow: the world. :)

Two Years of Parental Bliss

I honestly don't know how it happened, but somehow my dear, little daughter has progressed from this:

to this:

It has been more than a pleasure to be an observer and active participant in this process. I feel that in these past few months, I have come to know Grace as a person, instead of just a dependent, smaller extension of me. Everyday she impresses me with her intelligence, wit, and overwhelming ability to be cute. She is playful, daring, creative, caring, persistent, and quite possibly capable of leading a small army. Or so her innate bossiness and self-confidence would indicate. :)

She learns quickly and loves to do so. She has mastered all visible body parts, the colors, animals of every shape and size, a plethora of shapes, and can spell her name with ease. She loves to "read" and spends a good portion of her day doing so. She can make a mean play-dough snake, and happily sits still while I paint her toenails whatever color she fancies that day. She is always the first to remind me to pray, and can sing "I am a Child of God" word for word. She's practically begging to be potty trained, but I've been dragging my feet...

This past month, she and I did a lot of traveling together. She sat/played/slept/cried her way through eight flights and a fairly ambitious number of long car trips. Barring one infamous three hour flight from Cincinnati to Salt Lake (which was her first long flight), she amazed me with her resilience and patience. Whilst Spencer and I stewed with anger and frustration about an airline delay that cost us about nine hours, Grace cheered us with her silly personality and jumping prowess. People stopped us after numerous flights to tell us how pleasantly surprised they'd been to fly with such a well-behaved toddler.

Now, I was the LAST person who would have expected Grace to receive such praise. I'm well aware of her tantrum-throwing ability and tend to expect the worst from her in most situations. I guess I was still seeing her as the volatile infant who could explode into a fit of inexplicable crying at any instant. It was a big turning point in our relationship for me to see her in this new light. She's actually a good kid, perhaps in spite of me. :) She had her moments on our trip, of course, but for the most part, she did so much better than I ever would have imagined. I just wasn't giving her enough credit.

I love her so much and just can't imagine my life without her. It just keeps getting better and better.

In honor of her reaching the great milestone that is the age of two, we had a little party. Far from being infested with other toddlers (though there were a few), it was mostly attended by friends of ours. :) Grace spent the majority of the time trying to escape. Typical. :) But she enjoyed bits of pizza, hot dogs, cake, and ice cream, and REALLY enjoyed getting presents. Here are a few snap shots of the evening:

Grace and our neighbor, Jennifer. Grace loves Jennifer (as do I) and

tries to visit her often throughout the day. While we were in

Utah, she picked up my phone and had imaginary conversations with her at least twice. :)

Unfortunately, I don't feel like this year's cake was much of an

improvement over last year's, but Grace did like it. The concept

looked so much better in my head.

Wait for it, wait for it...

Here it comes!

Grace mostly blew out the candles by herself, but

her control freak mother might have

helped a little. I didn't really even mean to.

Friends Mandie and Makaya. And, yes, Grace is trying to steal that toy from her.

Friends Nicole, Robin, and Robin's mother (and son), Carolyn.

Friends Laurie and Cortney (holding Duke).

Friends Turhan and Clint (who belong respectively to Nicole and Laurie).

Sand bucket and shovel---brilliant! Why I hadn't thought of

that before I don't know. Thanks to Mallory and Jimmy.

Will and Grace. :) And again, yes, Grace is giving Will

the "don't touch my new caterpillar" glare.

More present opening with Jared and Will looking on. Grace

seems to get along better with little boys than little girls.

This does not bode well for her teenage years.

Grace's fabulous outfit is courtesy of my wonderful sister, Ellie,

without whom very little that I do would be possible. It's quite possible that

Grace asks for Ellie more than anyone else, including me. :)

Grace's "big" present from us. :) It cost all of $5 at a

yard sale. The LAST one we went to that day, of course. Her wardrobe

was furnished by Grandma and Grandpa Merkley.

It's been a great two years.

I just bought...

...all of this clothing for $10. Awesome. Enough said.

The Latest

We've been up to all kinds of interesting things so far this summer, and I don't do anything with my pictures unless I blog them. Far be it from me to actually print our pictures and use some of the hundreds of dollars worth of scrap booking paraphernalia that I own. Oh the laziness...

We spent a lovely afternoon slip 'n sliding away in Ellie's backyard just a few weeks ago. Grace spent most of her time doing this:

She gets that from her Mom.

She spent a little bit of time doing this:

And by this I mean hovering near Nora and Andrew's antics

whilst maintaining a death grip on her sippy cup and graham cracker.
And finally, by the end, she worked up enough courage to try a little of this:

She gets that from her dad.

We've also made several successful trips to the Columbus Zoo. We've spent time with the new polar bears, visited the aquarium and the manatees (my favorite animal, I might add), and seen quite a few brightly colored flamingoes. But the part that Grace remembers most is this:

Every time a goat appears in a story we're reading, Grace makes sure to mention the zoo.

The part I remember most is this:

Darn those irresistible fences. :)

We've also joined the Warnicks on a few "family fun mornings" and those have been delightful. The Columbus area has an abundance of beautiful metro parks and I look forward to exploring each and every one.

Gantz Park, Grove City

Whetstone Park of Roses, Clintonville

Grace spends her time doing a lot of this:

She loves smelling flowers. Well, smelling anything really. In an effort to get her to stop putting things in her mouth (argh...I thought she'd grow out of that one ages ago), I have encouraged her to smell them instead. It's worked pretty well...and makes parks with flowers all the more appealing to her. However, she also sniffs a lot of play dough...that might be trouble.

More recently, we took a little trip to the science museum, COSI, in downtown Columbus. Grace and I have gone multiple times, but this was the first time Spencer was able to go with us. Instead of taking very many pictures, we spent time doing things like this:

Later, in an effort to keep Spencer's new laptop from burning his leg, we spent some time at the Easton mall. Spencer spent a lot of time in here:

And Grace and I spent the majority of our time next to this guy:

Thanks to Ellie, Spencer and I were able to go on a date to Schiller Park in German Village. A local group puts on free plays every weekend and dubs it "Shakespeare in the Park." When we went, they were performing "Treasure Island." Not so Shakespeare. :) But we enjoyed it all the same. I spent a lot of time doing this:

When we're not out and about, Grace likes to enjoy a good book in the rocking chair.

And repeatedly put all of her stuffed animals/random action figures down for a nap.

We also spend an excessive amount of time playing here:

Northam Park, UA. I don't know where we'd be without this lovely,

within walking distance park.

And sometimes, Spencer and I like to keep it real by finishing the evening with a little indoor mini-golf.

Thus far, the summer's been great.

A Tribute

Almost two weeks ago, my Grandpa Merkley passed away. It came as a shock to me, but really wasn't unexpected. He'd been battling Alzheimer's for years and had been followed faithfully by an oxygen tank for some time.

My scheduled summer visit home came exactly one month short of enabling me to say goodbye, which made his passing all the more painful. I didn't see the last year of his life. To me, he was still mostly okay--maybe not quite who he'd always been, but still capable of making me feel overwhelmingly loved each time I saw him. Still someone who could hold my stranger-shy daughter and somehow keep her calm and happy. It still hurts to think how close I came to seeing him one last time.

But...I'm so grateful for all the time I spent with him growing up. My grandpa was truly an inextricable part of my childhood and early adulthood. He and my grandma lived in the same town as my family, so we saw them often. The visit count would be almost impossible to tally, but it's at least however many Sunday evenings fall within 18 calendar years. The visits once I left home were less frequent, but still cherished.

I love my Grandpa so much. To date, he is the only one who has ever given me a nickname I actually liked. Spencer's are nice, but not for public consumption. :) My brother, Sam, spoke at his funeral and mentioned that Grandpa somehow had a way of making every grandchild feel like his favorite. I agree completely with what Sam said--except for his claim that he was Grandpa's real favorite. Grandpa and I know otherwise. :)

He just loved us. Every time I went to his house, he was there at the top of the stairs, waiting to be hugged. He made me feel like it was the highlight of his day to see my "pretty" face. He wanted me there. It's so nice to feel like there's a place that you always belong, especially during those awful, awkward teenage years.

And he made the Best. Popcorn. Ever. Even outsiders have confirmed this. He actually grew the popcorn kernels in his amazing backyard farm (er, garden) and somehow knew exactly how much butter and salt to put in. Just writing about this has given me the overwhelming urge to hop up and dig our popcorn popper out of its upper cupboard position (which is no small feat...) and pop a bowl or two. He and Grandma also provided endless amounts of licorice---red, brown, black---you name it; they had it. Obviously, that always meant a lot to the candy-deprived child I was growing up. :)

One of my favorite memories of him revolves around the Christmas choir concert my senior year of high school. As tradition dictated, my show choir sang a rendition of "Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer" and distributed red stickers as "Rudolph" noses during the chorus. I gave mine to my Grandpa, and as of the last visit I made to their house, he still had it. For many years, it was displayed somewhat prominently in his living room. That little act meant so much to me. (See? Obviously I was the favorite grandchild.) :)

I really could go on forever. Grandpa Merkley was an outstanding example of so many things: humor, love, devotion to spouse, devotion to family, love of education, faith, and hard work. He left behind a devoted wife, a horde of adoring sons, daughters-in-law, grandchildren, great-grandchildren and many others whose lives will not be the same without him.

This was the last visit I had with him before Spencer, Grace and I left for the Midwest. Really, the last time I would end up seeing him in this life. As demonstrated above, Grace took right to him---which wasn't necessarily normal for her at the time (or now, for that matter). I love this picture and the obvious connection the two of them were making. Grace seems to be telling him something really important. :) (April 2009)

Seth receiving a famous Grandpa hug at Sam and Emily's wedding. (May 2008)

Spencer's and my wedding. (December 2006)

Grace's blessing day, September 2008. Grandpa works his magic again.

Grace and both of her great grandparents. (September 2008)

The Funeral:

My Grandma was an amazing example of strength and stoicism during the viewings and the funeral. Grandpa loved her so much and one of the last things I really remember him saying was how much she meant to him. In the midst of his often somewhat incoherent ramblings near the end, Grandpa's devotion to Grandma was always clear and obvious.

Grandpa was a fantastic story teller because of his inherent humor and intelligence. I never ceased to be amazed at the hilarious things that could pop out of his mouth, seemingly out of nowhere. One of my favorite stories he would tell was of his one war "wound." He served in the Navy during World War II and received said wound participating in a sit-up competition on the deck of his ship.

He burned the back of his legs. :)

But from how he'd tell it, you'd think he'd received the Purple Heart. :) He also loved telling us that he was still in his early twenties. Apparently, his ship crossed the International Date Line the day before his (22nd?) birthday and entered the other side the day after his birthday. Thus for him, the day never happened and he never aged.

My parents and siblings: Emily, Dad, me, Seth, Ellie, Mom, Sam.

What a blessing it was for all of us to be able to attend the funeral.

Obviously the popcorn and licorice (as well as the garden) stood out to more than just me. :)

Grandpa kept meticulous care of his yard and took great joy in doing so. During the spring and early summer, his yard was rich with roses and other flowers. I will miss him so much, but I look forward to seeing him again. Until then, I will see him in the spring through roses, in the summer through ice cream cones, in the autumn through apple trees and popcorn, and in the winter through the Christmas story he so faithfully read to us each year. Love you, Grandpa. Till we meet again.